Failure to thrive. Those three words have come back to haunt me once again. For almost a year, my youngest child was labeled failure to thrive. There are no words to describe how helpless I felt, watching my baby's growth flat line month after month. While all of the doctors agreed with the failure to thrive diagnosis, none could ever find a cause for it. When I got my Lyme diagnosis a few months ago, we finally put two and two together and tested him for Lyme Disease. He tested positive.
But this post is not about him. He is no longer failure to thrive. This time it is me.
When my doctor told me yesterday that I was failure to thrive, I felt like all of the air was being sucked right out of me. Yet it couldn't be more true. I'm down to 101 lbs, my hair is falling out by the handful, I'm housebound, and every time I so much as blink, I have to run for the bathroom. But hearing it put into words is a whole new ball game. Now it feels, well, real.
I want to get better. I want to thrive again. But I want it NOW! I'm tired of being patient. I won't sugar coat it; today is a tough day. It looks like my optimism is failing to thrive, too. I guess I need to go back and read my previous post: http://lymebeast.blogspot.com/2010/11/caught-in-rip-current.html
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