So this morning I crawled out of bed, determined to get the abx down and to take the Trakehner, Boo, for a walk. I have been craving horse time to no end---there is nothing like being physically un-freaking able to do anything with the expensive hay burners outside to make you desperately desire to do more with them!!
Anyway, I stuffed a pocket full of gluten free crackers, grabbed my coffee cup and stumbled the fifteen steps to the girls. Everyone got a flake of hay, except for Boo. Being a verrrrry opinionated girl, I had to cajole her down the driveway with the cooing idea of grass (her super opinionated self is why she was capable of convincing people that she was not rideable....she just happens to be super sensitive and totally uncapable of dealing with any fitting issues. Period.). A few minutes later, she was cheerfully nibbling on a little bit of grass by the side of the road while I was drinking my coffee and eating a few crackers. Perfect.
Then...I happened to look up by my house, in time to see a very large, very upset, very obnoxious mare prancing around, squawking her head off for Boo. I sighed. My morning was about to get waaay more interesting, very quickly. Boo and I watched nonchalantly as the Sofa Monster cavorted past the gates, pranced past my car, trotted veryfast down the driveway and somehow ended up on the extremely narrow strip of ground between the electric fence and a steep bank beside the road. I cannot justify to myself how such a big obnoxious creature managed to fit in a small space without shocking the snot out of herself, but she did. And it was ridiculous.
While this display of abominable behavior was going on, Boo and I were slowly making our way the 20 feet along the roadside to the beginning of the driveway. Rude obnoxious super big mare somehow pivoted 360 degrees in said narrow space to follow us back to the stalls, squawking about how we were so awful to leave her behind. Ugh.
Boo got tucked in with a little extra hay to nibble, and I managed to rehang the gate the Sofa had lifted off its hinges and left hanging by its chain while she demonstrated her superior atheletic skills and herd bound qualities. I put her away with no fuss, as the mare she routinely beats the snot out of (and obviously cannot live without) was back next to her.
Wait. It gets better.
I then went to let the chickens out. I really enjoy my little outside hens...they are super cute and funny and like to follow me places. I opened the basement door and pulled the hose out, intending to water the horses, and accidentally left the door open.
I took a scoop full of water to the hens, and was admiring them in all their fluffy hen-ness, when I got the feeling I was being watched. And I was. By my mass-chicken-murdering Husky cross, who was poised in the open basement door, evaluating how many chickens were loose.
I screamed for him, and started my panting way up the hill. Of course, the turdball turned around and pranced up by the car, waving his tail gleefully. He was determined that he was going to have a fabulous morning!
Luckily, I had skanky old meat wrapping by the stairs to rattle for him, and he came at warp speed (miraculously without killing anything!). I gave him several treats for coming in, leaned against the fall for a few minutes as I was panting with exertion, and fed the ponies breakfast.
I then did 2 hours of homework, met with my favorite person at school, dealt with a friend's Lyme entertainment, and then came home to do insane amounts of homework. I think I need stronger coffee, with an IV drip, post haste, because the stuff I'm drinking did not prepare me for all that!
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