Sunday, October 31, 2010

alyson1derland: The Carousel Disease


If you've ever spent any time around someone with Lyme Disease, you are probably pretty baffled. How is it that one minute they can be too sick to walk, and the next minute they are running around like a wild person, full of energy? One minute, they need to be carried up the steps, and the next minute, they are bouncing down the steps to answer the door. One day they can make a four-course meal, and the next day, they walk away from the stove until the smoke alarm goes off, reminding them that they were actually in the middle of making dinner!

Migrating symptoms are a hallmark of Lyme Disease. Sometimes I refer to it as the Carousel Disease, because my days are constantly up and down. No one has been able to explain to me what causes these ever-changing symptoms, but it is one of the most frustrating parts of the disease. People who don't understand Lyme Disease assume you are faking your illness. It's very hard for people to understand why I have days when I can actually ride a horse, and other days when I have to be carried from my bed to the bathroom.

You may look at me, and I may not look the slightest bit sick to you. But inside my body, there is so much going on that you can't see! So for those of you who are ready, hop on the carousel of Lyme Disease for a spin with me!

Imagine someone has strapped lead weights on your legs. Now your legs are heavy, achy, and hard to move. Getting around is quite a chore, but you can do it!

Now, imagine your brain is filled with cotton (hard to picture, but bear with me!). The simplest of decisions are now a major struggle for you, and you can't remember what you were saying or thinking. You can no longer answer a simple question like "should I have a snack?" You can no longer figure out simple math questions like 12-5. You constantly forget to eat your snack, and drink the tea you just made. You forget simple words. You haven't the faintest idea of what you did this morning, let alone yesterday!

Now picture someone taking a drill and boring into your hips, causing a deep, slow ache. It hurts when you walk, it hurts when you sit, it hurts when you lay down. Your fingers feel like someone is stabbing them with needles. Your knees feel like someone is banging on them with a hammer.

Mentally, you are very agitated, like someone is scraping their fingers down a chalkboard close to your ears. You head is throbbing, you are tense, and you feel as though you are ready to blow at any moment!

And just as suddenly as you hopped on the carousel, you hop off. The ride is over. Your head stopped throbbing. Your hips are only a dull ache now, not nearly as intense. You can walk easier now, but all that riding on the carousel has left you a little dizzy. Whoever was scraping their fingers down the chalkboard, has stopped, and now you're only mildly agitated. You don't feel like there are lead weights on your legs anymore, but you are left with a flu-like ache in your body. You suddenly remember a million things that you were supposed to do. Like a kitten running through the house, you dart around trying to make up for lost time, all the while wondering when the carousel ride is going to start back up. It might be soon. It might not be until tomorrow. You don't know what the ride will be like next time or how long it will last. But for now, you are happy that your quarter ran out, and the ride is over.

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